Monday, March 13, 2006

I need some help here!


This is my third post in one day. I must be getting sick.

I found this photograph and I don't know what to make of it: A bishop dressed in cappa magna, wearing a mitre, a crozier and a stole. I have never seen this before. So, please, tell me: What's going on here?

This is so sad

Okay, get this: I sort of browsed through the "Webshots" page the other day and found something very, very... well... I don't even know how to call it. See for yourself:

This guy, who calls himself "cultureboy" created an album with the title "Gay Culture in Catholicism". This alone is worth a million laughs. After recovering from the "gay culture"-shock I had the following vision of cardinals and bishops sitting around in Rome, dressed in sackcloth, looking dull and bored, until suddenly one little prelate jumped up and said:

"That's it! Let's dress like those strange people who march through Rome once a year! What do they call it again? Ah, yes: "Pompa die plateae Christophori"

"But...," objected a skinny old cardinal. "You know that they are... erm... homosexuals?"

"Awww, come on!" insisted the tiny fellow. "Don't be so negative and boring! These guys have been doing this for centuries. I mean, they developed a culture. We can learn from them. Just look at us! Christ has been dead for centuries now and we didn't attract a single soul to his Church. Surely there must be something wrong with our style. Come on! Please?"

"I don't know..." The old cardinal slowly shook his head.

"I want a pointy jewelled hat!" A young bishop with a goat-like beard reaised his hand.

"See?" The tiny prelate jumped up and down with exitement.

"I want silk!" sighed a fat cardinal and closed his eyes. "Lots of silk!"




More and more hands were raised.

"Oh well," said the old cardinal. "Let's go and ask His Holiness then, shall we?"

As they left the room, the young bishop walked up to the little cardinal. "Did you know that most of those homosexuals have the name Gaius?"

"No. Why?"

"I don't know. It just seems strange."

"So we'll all be "Gaii" soon?" grinned the tiny prelate.

Okay, I got carried away here. What I really wanted to share with you are some of the photos and captions this "cultureboy" posted on the Webshots page (errors his):

A Bishop first thing in the morning.
Ready to face the starving millions of children who can't afford a pice of bread.

The Clergy Network for the Elimination of World Poverty.
Designer Vestments for the discerning man.

A Hard Day's Night.
After a gruelling day of rallies against world poverty and petition signing, the weary bishops and their mates settle in for a good DVD

As I said: This is so sad! On the one hand one could feel relieved, thinking that utter crap like this might be one of the bigger challenges the Church has to face in the future. On the other hand it is scary, because there are lots of people out there who will fall for this garbage just because it gives them another excuse. I mean, who would really be willing and able to take a sober look at reality, after decades of emotions taking over reason?

Can you hear the boo-hoo-ing? "Could anybody please at least for one second think of all the starving little children all over the world?"

Well, certainly not the Church. She has taken the next step long ago. She acts. Welcome to the real world.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Photos of the Month (03/2006)

Guess what: I will present four photos now that do not show a Cappa Magna (gasp!).

But: You still get the train... Okay, the train-ette.

I always thought that if the Church really wanted to give those "Jesus didn't do this and that"-people their money's worth, she should strongly consider to bring back the prelate's cassocks with the small trains in the back.

You were able to attach the train to the back of the cassock with a hook so it was extendible when needed. Of course I love these mini-trains, but I always thought it looked kind of strange to see them carried by a "caudatarius minor", walking 10 centimeters behind a mitred bishop. Just let them trail on the ground, guys! Sure, they will take up dust and dirt this way, but this is about making an effort in beauty and festivity for Christ, not about not getting your hands or trains dirty.

Here are the photos:

"But where's the train?" Exactly! It's somewhere between who I think is Giovanni Panico, apostolic delegate to Australia, and the half-hidden kid in black right behind him. If you look at the shadow's direction, you can sort of imagine it.

Aaaah! Thaaaaat's better! Here you can actually see something. As I said: It looks strange when the train gets carried.

Cardinal Farley with mantelletta and a cheeky mini-train peeping around the corner

This guy looks a little young for a cardinal. He probably is a model, wearing what I hereby solemnly proclaim the "Prelate Gear Supreme (if you don't count the Cappa Magna)". Ah, it is such fun to imagine the steaming moral indignation of the "Destroy what you don't understand"-Church-Queen-haters ("Church-Queen" is TM by somebody else, I am merely quoting).